Do all parents hate the sound of their own voices at some point or is it just me?

Right, I’m not about to start doing parenting blogs because if I’m honest, the majority of them would just consist of me sitting in the corner of a room, huddling my knees, pulling my hair out in huge clumps!! And that’s not me being dramatic – I promise!!

I just needed to find out whether anyone else experiences the terror’s I have to deal with or if it’s just my child being extra devilish just for me!! All these parents out there who claim their children are absolute angels without a naughty bone in their body – I can’t honestly bring myself to believe that they don’t experience the odd day where the child wins!! See I don’t want to make this sound like a game, because as we all know parenting is no walk in the park, but I am seriously getting to the point where the sound of my own voice is making me want to tear my vocal chords out. I’m not even talking about having to repeat myself two or three times, I’m talking about sheer ignorance where I’m repeating until I’m blue in the face. All the tips you could think of I’ve done, like talking to him on his level, trying to reason in a calm and collective way, placing him in the naughty corner, taking away his toys and NONE of it has worked. It’s one of these things that physically I cannot do anything about anymore without having to raise my voice and it’s really bugging me. Now my boy is three, I know it’s meant to be a tricky age, but this amount of trickiness is a joke!! All the fun indoor activities you could think of, he turns it into a hollering match because he’ll put paint on the wall or try and feed the rabbit a crayon and I’ll have to stop whatever we’re doing to clean up whatever he’s done and then he’ll try and kick off and it all just becomes a circus of madness and Play Doh!!

Now I know I’m gonna get people piping up, saying “Well you should try taking him out for the day” – Okay, I hear what you’re saying and the odd big day out is great, when it can be afforded!! Aquarium, London Eye, London Zoo, Funfairs, Arcades… Things that three year old’s would enjoy. These are all great days out don’t get me wrong but these places are so expensive. Maybe it’s just me who thinks this though. Fair enough, trips to the park and certain farms are free but what about going for something to eat afterwards or going on to somewhere else – before you know it you’ve spent a bomb.

Going back to the main reason for this blog though – behaviour – I feel like I need clarification that I am not the only one with the spawn of Satan for a son. Don’t get me wrong, kids are naughty sometimes and I know a few people who have troublesome kids like I do but I can’t imagine any other child to be as naughty as mine and it’s getting me down now. I just don’t know where it comes from. I don’t want to take him to a behavioural therapist, that would always be a last resort. I just want to know about what families go through and whether this is just a phase… and if it is, how long will it last?

I can’t be bald before the age of thirty.

Trust me; it won’t be a pretty site.

HELP!! 😀

Romance?! Pfftt!!

Are relationships a thing of the past? Does romance not come into play anymore? I’m beginning to think I’m never going to get the chance to be whisked off my feet by that Mr Darcy type character, and falling into the bed of a random seems more like the viable choice! THIS IS NOT HOW IT SHOULD BE!!

Years ago when a man was attracted to a woman, he used to spend ages trying to ‘woo’ her. Dinner, dancing, romantic walks, kind hearted gestures and normally a good three or four bunches of flowers before even getting a proper goodnight kiss. Nowadays it’s a few Facebook messages, a couple of films indoors and that’s it – the deed is ready to be done!!

This isn’t how things should be. Romance shouldn’t be dying out like a breed. It’s something that should forever live on!! These days you can get a quick lay with the use of four texts and a strategically placed smiley face, and they usually go along the lines of this –

“You busy” “You about” “You bored” “I’m indoors ;)” – And it’s literally as easy as that!! EXCUSE ME WHILE I ALLOW THE BUTTERFLIES TO ESCAPE FROM MY STOMACH!! NOT!!

Look gents, just because we’re not overly bent on you declaring your love by releasing a flock of doves over a rose covered dock while Michael Bolton serenades sweetly in the background doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to send us a few texts then expect to climb into our knickers!!

Is chivalry dead?

It’s time for you men to prove us wrong 😉 Use your brains and not your balls!!

X 

Bitch Get A Job If You Wanna Be RICH!!

Everyone knows the UK hands out benefits like a Selfridges girl hands out J’adore sprayed sticks – but when people start abusing the system and raping it for every penny they can get, that’s where I need to open my mouth and get factual!!

The benefit system was put in place to help people try and get back to work. It is not meant to be a permanent fixture, it is not a wage. As it stands, there are 5.7 million people claiming JSA/Income Support and 2.44 million claiming Disability/Incapacity/Carers allowance. That’s a total of over 8 million people getting hand outs from the government.

Now, I’m not going to sit here and act like I’m above benefits because as a single parent I do need help with things. But I can also say that I am one of the ones who want to go back to work and not have to live off of handouts. The government is too lenient on people aged between 21-39  when it comes to them going back to work and people are too quick to jump on any benefit they can find.

Job Seekers Allowance was put in place to help you while looking for work. It was not put in place so you could get comfortable at home while working people paid you with their taxes. 

Here’s a little sprig of knowledge for you – Did you know that Job Seekers Allowance used to be called Unemployment Benefit but the name was changed as it sounded like a benefit you got paid for not going to work!! By renaming it Job Seekers Allowance, it stopped it from sounding like a reward for laziness and started sounding like it was actually aimed to help you seek employment.

There are claimants out there who are receiving over £175 A WEEK for ONE child alone… That’s £9100 a year NOT INCLUDING Income Support or any other child they may be claiming for. That’s more than what some people get for a working wage!! I dread to think how much you receive in total!!

People who earn over £1000 per month receive zero help when it comes to things such as rent and council tax but people receiving benefits that sometimes exceed £1000 per month still get full help without the bat of a single eyelid. YEAH ‘COS THAT’S FAIR!!

The government are quick to lower pensions, taking money from the elderly to give to people with very little or no work ethics. It’s time to crack the whip!! People who claim extra benefits for whatever reason should be made to show proof of purchases that the money they have been awarded for, for whatever reason, is actually spent on the proper things needed…. and not just used as an extra wedge for shopping!!

Finishing this up now, I think it’s safe to say we live in a country where people would rather label their selves or their children as disabled or incapacitated, rather than get up off their lazy arses and look for work. This surge of spongers take away the rights from the people who truly need these benefits.

GET TO WORK YOU LAZY BUMS!!

It’s time to be ambitious!!

Deadbeats & Bitches!!

This is one of those quick ‘speaking from experience’ blogs. I think it’s needed after a few of the things I’ve been hearing over this weekend!!

LADIES, If your man has a child with someone else – DEAL WITH IT!! Don’t make them choose. No father should be forced to choose between their child or girlfriend because with all REAL men, the outcome will NOT be in your favour!! UNLESS THE MAN IS A COMPLETE SCUMBAG LIKE A CERTAIN TWAT I KNOW!!

There is never an acceptable time for a woman to stop this UNLESS the mother of the child is completely unreasonable in which case you go and seek legal advice and sort things out that way!! The GROWN UP way!! Trust me when I say the only one who is gonna suffer in all of this is that poor child.

My sons Dad (not that he deserves that title) is a prime example of a child, who had a child!! Physically he may be 27, but mentally he’s about 15!! He has never been involved in my son’s life and chose his girlfriend over him! That’s his decision and one day he will learn that it was his loss. He won’t ever get to see what a bright, beautiful, clever little boy he’s got and he made that decision himself!! And if he ever does want to know him, he’ll have to explain where he’s been for the last however long. Would love to see him explaining away the fact that he ‘cheated on Mummy with a crazy northerner and chose her over getting to watch his son grow up’ – just the thought of it makes me feel sick!!

Why do these men put themselves in this position again and again? If you’re not gonna take responsibility for something you helped create then why not stick something on the end of it!! Instead you wait until the poor baby is here before you up sticks and fuck off!! DEADBEATS!! See this is one of those subjects that really wind me up. I see so many Dads who actually want to spend time with their child but the mothers are just so messed up that they really can’t see who they’re really hurting by not allowing access.

There are three different types of Dads – Great Dads, Nightclub Dads & Deadbeat Dads. We all know what a Great Dad is.. That’s a Dad who would die for their child without a second thought, a Dad who devotes his life to making sure his child has everything they could dream of no matter how much blood, sweat and tears it takes to get it. Then we have the Nightclub Dads, the part time Dads who want to pretend they are the real deal but always fail to live up to the Dad title, whether it be by not sticking to set days or times, or not providing enough for the child yet always finding the means to go out raving it up… Then we have the Deadbeats, the lowest of the low, the ones most of us single parents call ‘The Donor’!! These mongrels are just peasants who don’t deserve to be breathing. I swear the ones who create life and then dismiss it like it was nothing to do with them, they make my blood boil. The Dads who can easily walk past their child in the street without even stopping to take a second glance. These vultures don’t belong in this world. Men all around the world are getting women pregnant without really thinking of the consequences and it needs to stop.

Here’s a question to the Men reading this – Which Dad do you want to be? Only you can choose how you act once you have a child, make the right decision please!! 

Fifty Shades Of Fucking/Lets Talk About Sex Baby

“Cos we can’t stop & we won’t stop”

Today we live in a world where sex is not as taboo as it once was…and that’s a beautiful thing!! With thousands of erotic books sweeping our nation, there has been a rise in sex toy sales and bondage equipment. Everyone’s a lot more inclined to get their ‘Christian Grey’ on and explore their kinkier side. Couples are exploring things with their partners that most people would of never dreamed about doing 10 years ago. Swinging and partner swapping has became more popular and the Soho sex scene is booming!! Things are just so much more relaxed, and a LOT more accepted.

I decided to pile together a mini survey for 10 random friends (who were open enough to discuss) and find out just exactly what they have got up to in the past and what they would be willing to try in the future, and the answers I got were actually quite shocking. Before the days of Christian Grey and Gideon Cross, only a handful of women would admit to wanting to be tied up or blindfolded, or lightly spanked, but since we heard that famous “Laters Baby” line its been all us kinky bitches seem to want to do. And men seem to be just as bad if not worse than us women!! I couldn’t believe how many men were turned on at the thought of having a powerless woman in the bedroom. One they could have their wicked way with over and over again without hearing them complain of a headache or not being in the mood!! It’s crazy!! But its fucking awesome!!

I thought it would be quite interesting to list the top 5 taboo situations that are deemed kinky as fuck now 🙂

1. Partner Swapping – Now if I’m honest, this one is not for me. I couldn’t picture myself in a scenario where my partner and I are getting down to it and then all of a sudden we’ve got to chop and change and get acquainted with another person… and the thought of actually watching my partner with someone else would make me sick to my stomach!! They’re mine, get your own!! 🙂

2. Roleplay (Aggressive) – Violent roleplay was a very common one that kept cropping up. Can kind of see why… The thought of being completely powerless just for them few short minutes yet completely trusting the person you’re with, that’s gotta feel sexy right??

3. Toys – Toys seem to be mandatory in most couples sex lives these days. If I’m honest, I don’t think any girl can say she hasn’t had or still got a sex toy floating about in her bedroom whether it be Love Eggs, a Bullet or The Megatron 5000 Delux. Sometimes they just “brighten” things up 🙂

4. Watching Porn Together – Now I remember the first time a guy asked me to watch porn with him, I was literally crawling in my skin. It physically made me cringe. But now a lot of couples enjoy indulging in a bit of pre-session porn before getting down to it. Its a wonderful thing 🙂

5. Exploring their curiosity – This can be a whole range of things. Can range from using different objects to exploring their bi sexual sides.

All of these things used to be frowned upon. Nobody would want to talk about their sex lives through fear of being called a slut or a whore but now its not so hidden. Girls will walk freely into an Ann Summers just the same as guys will and neither of them care about what others around them are thinking because in hindsight they’re actually not thinking anything anymore. Sex has become part of our everyday way of life and the things that were deemed ‘dirty’ or ‘x-rated’ are now just craved by everyone.

Personally I just want this relaxed way to get even more relaxed!! Let the good times roll (in the hay) 😉

 

If the shoe fits, then feel free to wear it!! WARNING : BAD LANGUAGE (LOADS OF IT)

Lets start with the men shall we!

WHO ON GODS GREEN EARTH DO YOU GUYS THINK YOU ARE?? The ones who think its acceptable to go out shagging anything with a pulse regardless of whether you’re in a relationship or not – You are VERMIN!! Your tiny green fungus filled willies will fall off if you don’t start watching who you stick them in!! You ‘Hit n Run’ or ‘Splash n Dash’ without a care in the world, not knowing who you’re diving into bareback, spreading your nasty STD’s all around the gaff!! HERE’S A LITTLE BIT OF KNOWLEDGE FOR YOU FILTHY BOYS – Did you know that over 72% of the CAPITAL’S population (London for those who aren’t geographically aware) do not know that they have contracted an STI/STD of some kind??? Whether it be Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, they’re all out there you know!! How many of you can honestly say you’ve been tested in the last 6 months?? What makes it worse is that these days you don’t even need to have a stick shoved down your japseye, you can piss in a cup and get the results back in 5 days!! Hell if you’re that worried you could go the the rapid clinics spread across London and have a full M.O.T and get your results back in an hour!! Surely an hours wait in a clinic is better then god knows how long pissing razor blades and wiping pus from your weepy sores!! It’s not gonna be a pretty site when you wake up one morning and your helmet’s green!! JUST SORT IT OUUUUUT!!

Next onto the bullshitters, keeping this short and sweet – If I hear one more man say “You need someone who will treat you like the princess you are” I will jump in a cab to wherever you may be and stamp on your non-existent balls!! Because as all us ladies know, that is the biggest load of bollocks ever and the likeliness of you actually doing that is pretty slim. Just stop with the lies guys 🙂 They ain’t fooling anyone anymore.

Right I think that’s enough of badgering the boys, its time for the girls!!

LADIES LADIES LADIES, where do I actually begin!!

WHO IS GOING TO RESPECT YOU WHEN YOU DON’T RESPECT YOURSELVES!! Speaking from experience, self respect is a crucial thing to have if you’re ever going to get anywhere in this world!! If you go around not caring about what people think of you and not caring what problems you cause for others or the outcome once the damage is done, you are going to wind up very sad and very alone!! Bit by bit I destroyed myself from my mid-teens until the day I found out I was having my beautiful boy!! That is not a road I want to see anyone go down. If it wasn’t for him I would probably be a raving crackhead or possibly dead… Please just respect yourselves!! Don’t wear clothes that leave nothing to the imagination, there is nothing worse then basically seeing what you’ve had for breakfast!! Remember the skirt should be longer than your vagina!! And don’t think the piece I gave the boys doesn’t relate to you also, don’t play games with people, its not big and its not clever!!

I’m finished now.

M x

Katie Hopkins – She can’t be human… Can she??

Okay, this is definitely a shoes off, feet up kind of rant!! I am actually RAVING!!

Who the actual fuck does this woman think she is? I mean come on, seriously babe, do you actually believe the shit that comes out of that trap of yours?! YOU ABSOLUTE CRETIN!

How dare you sit there on your almighty throne like you know everything and judge people who you deem to be ‘Below You’ – you scumbag!! First your nonsense about children’s names… You had the nerve to say people who name their children after places of conception, for example Brooklyn, Paris, INDIA… are basically just setting their child up to fail – WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO DECIDE WHETHER A DESTINY OR FAITH MAKES IT TO THE TOP OF THE CLASS???

You have a child called India (a country) and a child called Poppy (a flower) – is that not a bit hypocritical of you??

My name is Michelle, I think that sounds like a name that could go places yet I have no formal qualifications or degrees or anything that makes me remotely educated… but I can still manage to string sentences together in this rant to address you and your rubbish!!

I seriously can’t get to grips with the stuff that has come out of this woman’s mouth!! It really has infuriated me…

And then today, I’m casually having a browse through FB when I come across a new video of her back on This Morning saying she easily postpones her kids birthdays and doesn’t think that the idea of a child enjoying their one special day as an important enough reason to book the day off work!! REALLY??!! I actually feel so sorry for her poor kids… She needs a reality check, money buys a lot but it doesn’t buy love and when it comes to family that is what matters!! This vile creature prioritises money over her children, she shouldn’t be given the chance to earn anymore!! She should be forced to actually feel what its like to be a loving parent who just wants to spend as much time as possible with their child because they aren’t children for long and before she knows it, it will be her who’s craving the attention from them!!

I’m done with this bitch!!

RANT OVER

 

Is America Serious?!

“We’ve got to look terrorism in the face and show we are united” – Danny Devall

Must tread carefully here!! Been known to shoot myself in the foot on these kind of subjects..

Okay so it’s 12 years ago today since the world stood still and we watched the tragic events that shook the globe!! The beautiful Twin Towers (WTC) were attacked in, what could only be described as, the worst terrorist attack ever witnessed by man!! An event that changed the way we live forever…

We will never truly know who was to blame for the attack. Most people say it was Al Qaeda, a few people believe it was an inside job. If I’m honest, I agree with the latter. But right now this isn’t about who is to blame, it’s about remembering those lost in the tragedy. All those affected by the events that took place that day!!

America have unveiled a new building in replacement for one of the Towers and as beautiful as it is, I believe they’ve made a huge mistake!!

It is nearly identical to the WTC only this time there’s only one tower.. Anyone want to start the countdown before someone attacks that one?? I don’t want to look at the negatives all the time but this is just a stupid act on Americas behalf!! I certainly do not want to be witnessing another attack on America again and I’m sure you don’t either!! I’m not expecting anything to change in the way we build our skyscrapers but I think using your brain should come into play!! Just say it was a terrorist attack and not an inside job, do you really think it’s just going to end there and then!! “Oh we caused enough trouble lets leave them B now” SAID NO TERRORIST EVER!!! In my eyes, building a basic replica is just inviting terrorists to blow it up!! Just like we did with The Shard…

It’s time to face facts, we live in a world where none of us are safe, should we not at least be trying to protect the things we love!!

 

 

 

 

 

Blog Virginity Broken

Okay so here it goes…

First blog about to be created, lets run this motherfucker bitches!

I’m sorry, that little outburst was basically me pre-ejaculating!! First thing I’m going to say is that this blog will not be for the faint hearted or those who do not appreciate a good fuck this and fuck that here and there. This is an adults blog, blogging about what other adults may or may not find annoying ok!! And if you haven’t noticed by now, I’m a little addicted to exclamation marks!!

I’ve decided to start this because I feel that the likes of Facebook & Twitter aren’t enough to use as a common venting ground, I needed to be able to have a wider space with less pricks putting in their two cents every fucking minute… And if I’m honest (as you can already see) 160 clearly isn’t enough characters for me is it TWITTER?!

Anyway, now I’ve got the first step of the way I can continue my quest to moan about everything!!

Until next time homeys xxxx